The Biblical Wife Chronicles Pt. 3 – The Submissive Wife

Submission. Never been my strongest point. If we are being honest – it’s a taboo term for women now days. Maybe subjection is a better word, though the meaning is the same. After researching this topic for several days and praying about it, I have come to the conclusion that I can’t resort to just a small blurb in one of my posts about it. God makes it a point to say “submit to your own husbands” 3 times in the New Testament, therefore it needs to be talked about and acted upon.

After talking about the quarrelsome wife, I think this will be a welcome change. We know what not to be now so it’s time to continue learning about what we are to be.

  1. Ephesians 5:22-24;33b “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands…. and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
  • Submit to your own husbands, as you submit to the Lord. We talked about obedience to the Lord a few weeks ago and I would like to note that – it is a similar obedience that we are to give our husbands. I am not telling you to submit when he asks you to do something that goes against what God tells you to do. God first, husband second, but if his request – no matter how foolish doesn’t counter act God’s Word, you are to submit to it.
  • Why? Because as Christ is the head of the church – We follow what he tells us in the Word, talk with him, and are to live in obedience to his will – so is the husband the head of the household.
  • We are to be respectful. Gosh that is hard isn’t it. Not only are we to submit to our husbands will but we are to be respectful about it. I think one of my favorite things that I have read came from Left BehindIn it a man is telling his wife what to do and she disagrees but she says it like this “Seriously, I don’t have a problem submitting to you because I know how much you love me. I’m willing to obey you even when you’re wrong. But don’t be unreasonable. And don’t be wrong if you don’t have to be.” This is probably one of my favorite quotes because it sums up what she is feeling. She tells him she disagrees, tells him that she still loves him and will still respect him, but it also tells him that she really wants her feelings in this matter considered.


Sometimes, even when it’s really hard, the best thing you can do is to say “yes dear.” with a submissive heart (pray first ladies) and then do as he says.

**You cannot control your husband but you can control your attitude.**

2. Colossians 3:18 “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”

  • God tells us to submit to our husbands. This doesn’t mean submit to someone else’s husband. Your job is to submit and serve your husband first. He leads and you follow.
  • Why? Because God commands it and it is fitting to him. In other words – this pleases the Lord.

3. 1 Peter 3:1-5 “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, that they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external – braiding of hair and putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear – but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands.”

  • Be subject – submit – to your own husbands. Like with the contentious woman – if it’s repeated 3 times God is trying to get you to listen and act upon it.
  • Not only are we to submit to our husbands because it is beautiful in God’s sight but also because our first ministry as wives is to our husbands. It will be the way we minister to our husbands and bring them to Christ. Just think about that. You might have the most hard-hearted husband in the world and simply being loving, respectful, and submissive could bring him into the kingdom. I don’t know about you but that bit of hope fills me with such joy that it makes me want to see it with my own two eyes.
  • While I can respect and understand the fact that every woman wants to look nice – I mean heck even I wear makeup, God tells us not to worry about that so much. Spending 40 min a day on your appearance is really worthless if you don’t spend time with God. He says to focus on the hidden person in your heart.
  • Gentle and Quiet. Gentleness is depicted as being kind, tender, and mild-mannered. When The Lord refers to being kind and tender and then says “quiet” I don’t think he means silent, even though the situation might occasionally call for that. I truly believe that being “quiet” means having a peaceful spirit, not meaning lacking of opinions. He says that these are “imperishable beauties” meaning they can not dissipate or be destroyed. It is also said that they are precious in God’s sight.
  • He then tells us that we have plenty of examples within the Bible of women who behaved in such a manner. Remember Abigail? yep she’s one. Hannah is another. What about Esther. Esther while being respectful and submissive risked her life to save others. Ruth is another. My personal favorite is Mary. Jesus’s mother – She was respectful and submissive to God first and then to Joseph. These women are known for the things they do but they had quiet, gentle, respectful, and submissive attitudes.

These are the three verses that really speak about being submissive as a wife. I would like to add that multiple verses in the Bible talk about not repaying evil for evil. As wives we know it’s difficult to not respond nastily, hastily, or angrily when our husbands are nasty and rude to us. I can tell you from personal experience that I have learned while it is harder to stay calm and not be nasty back – it diffuses the situation, shows my husband respect and submission, and causes our home to be more peaceful. I also know that this is in obedience with what Christ has told us as wives to do.

I also recommend if you are like me and this is not a simple and naturally attitude for you that you spend time in prayer requesting that the Lord change your heart and teach you to be submissive to your husband that you might honor and glorify Christ more. No one can ever say anything bad about a submissive and respectful wife, no matter how ridiculous her husband might be.

Thoughts? Opinions? Or Questions? Is there anything you think you would like me to expound upon from any of these studies? Please feel free to leave a comment or request for prayer. Honestly, I hope this study has helped you as much as it has helped me. I am still learning how to live this out in my life. Many thanks for reading and God Bless.

One thought on “The Biblical Wife Chronicles Pt. 3 – The Submissive Wife

Comments are closed.